___liesandsins

Thursday, August 31, 2006

hmm...teachers day today....i dont know how i did...i could hardly hear myself....haha....and different ppl were giving different comments....yeah...anyways....from today until next year...i cant play anymore guitar....have to send my current one for some repairing and modifications which will take some time....maybe buying another guitar also. this time, maybe white.

so, now what?

LiesandSins__
10:19 pm

Monday, August 28, 2006

have been doing quite a lot of thinking recently....yeah....cant seem to be able to let go of quite a lot of things recently....yeah....and it's been making me feel so fucked up these days...yeah....what i'm saying here is letting go as in giving in to something and also letting go as in just letting go of sth. why must i let go? why? and i dont like the feeling of losing something....especially when it's sth you have been wanting or having for quite a while...it just makes me feel helpless, lost and lonely. yeah. help me please. actually no, dont help me. it's not just losing sth simple. But i think i have no other choice left. i'll just have to let go and watch what happens.

LiesandSins__
11:24 pm

Sunday, August 27, 2006

hmm...today i dont really know what to post...not because i have no idea what to type but more of there are too many things to type about...some of which is a little personal...yeah. been stressing out lately...by mock exams and stuffs...teacher's day is coming....have to perform, yeah....then prelims are also coming...then o lvls...and then prom night in which i shall make a mockery out of myself....yeah....things just have to happen one after another...and i sometimes dont know what i should be doing...yes i know i must be studying but i just dont know why i dont have the motivation to do so and feels like there's things like my own personal problems to settle with first. and there are just too many to settle with. yeah and tmr is a maths mock exam...the subject i hate most....but why the hell did i take it in the first place i also dont know why and teachers keep saying that it's an advantage compared to those not taking it. wth. okok...i think i better stop complaining. gonna mug either now or later for the first time.
oh ya...and today is my sister's birthday and all i'm doing is complaining about my own life and not give her anything... yeah. good huh?

LiesandSins__
7:16 pm

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

hmm...there is seriously a lot of things that i want to type out here....but there are just some things that are holding me back....yeah...generally i've come to realise that over time ppl change....looks change....feelings change...situation change....thinkings change....and that's what scares the shit out of me. haha...i just rmbred how i used to be quite irritating (not that i am not irritating now) at sec 3 by always disturbing ppl and i suddenly realised that i have not been really doing it recently...i just tease my friends nowadays....it used to be everyone, even ppl i dont know where i will throw things at them and stuffs....yeah...and so have situations....i'm quite apprehensive about my future....about my o lvls...and about uncertain situations that i'm faced with now and the unpredictabilities of events which may occur due to normal situations leading to other more complicated situations of which i shall not mention about. yeah...so what shall i do now? should i just sit by and watch and just wait for the future to take place or should i make a move and change things? the thing is...i dont know what the future is and i'm afraid i cant accept it and come to terms with it....ppl always tell me to just hang in there and accept what happens but i dont want my future to be filled with regrets....but maybe it's true...all i can do now is wait. and wait.

LiesandSins__
10:37 pm

Monday, August 21, 2006

haha...NO! prelims are coming....and so is TEACHER's day...haha...and so is O LVLS!!!! haha...sorry....just stressed out here a lil...time flies so fast....haha...i'm not prepared...i still wanna slack for at least one more year? haha....yup...not in the serious mood yet....and still, i'm doing nth about it....haha...die...lucky today's higher malay prelims paper 1 was okok....haha...not too easy, not too difficult...haha....yup. hmm....i need a study buddy....who?who?who?haha...i want someone who i can study with but can crap at the same time but also cannot crap too much...generally, i want someone who's fun to study with but at the same time someone who can focus and be serious.haha....erm....maybe i can study on my own then crap on my own then scold my ownself to focus after crapping...hahaha....ok ppl....i gtg alr...udpate again tmr...haha....sorry for the crap content.

LiesandSins__
8:11 pm

Sunday, August 20, 2006

All the things that I used to say
All the words that got in the way
All the things that I used to know
Have gone out the window
All the things that she used to bring
All the songs she used to sing
All the favorite TV shows
Have gone out the window

wish me luck for higher malay prelims tomorrow. fuck i havent study...no mood. haha...sorry for the very short entry...didnt know what to type. nth really happened today anyway just that my sole of my left foot bled like hell. the skin just tore open. dont ask me why...i'm puzzled by it myself. haha. k bye.

LiesandSins__
2:58 pm

Friday, August 18, 2006

haha...today is very mundane and normal....yeah....did physics practical....quite fun...haha....we kept disturbing each other....yeah then had eng and then maths. then school ended....played poker cards, went for ss mock test....and then soccer...yeah...like usual....nowadays, things are very boring for me...yeah. haha...i seriously dont know what else to type to be honest...hahaha....fuck, my entries are boring cos i'm boring...hahaha.

The Bottom Line
Ideas around and about duration will be dominating your mind today -- plan ahead.
In Detail
Ideas around and about duration will be dominating your mind today -- you're thinking more and more about making things last. In terms of your romantic life, you may be finally ready to make the type of commitment you've always been intimidated by before. On the job, you might want to put more of yourself into what you do every day -- and identify whose job you want to be promoted into in a year. Your ambition is starting to wake up, and you're starting to think more about enduring.

haha...my horoscope for yesterday...i never really understood horoscopes anyway...but sometimes it can be quite scary when it knows how your day have been...haha.

here's the one for today.

The Bottom Line
Spoil yourself -- a nice dinner, spa day or new pair of shoes might do the trick.
In Detail
Someone close to you is moving more into their own external world right now, so don't take it personally if they cancel some together time you two had planned. Give them space to figure out whatever it is they're trying to figure out. Part of being a good friend or partner is knowing when to step back and provide space. In the meantime, take advantage of a hole in your calendar to spoil yourself -- a nice dinner, spa day or new pair of shoes might do the trick.

haha....new pair of shoes eh? haha...yeah, i guess so...haha...ok that's all for today ppl....i know my entries are boring but who ask you all to read?hahahahaha...

LiesandSins__
8:54 pm

Thursday, August 17, 2006

hahah....had oral today....luckily it's over alr.....yup...quite easy.....haha....but my chemistry mock test was shit....i didnt know how to answer a lot of questions...yeah...gonna fail it like fuck....hahaha...i had thoughts of just giving up and sleeping through the test but sleeping is more boring anyway....haha....have not smoked for two days....yeah...had temptations but my friends helped me....haha....yeah....today is very boring...after mock test went home...yeah....but no choice....haha...then had dinner and watched singapore idol....mathilda got voted out....haha....but to me, it's not a big deal to get voted out of singapore idol....haha...yeah......going to have higher malay prelims on mondya...better start studying alr...haha.....yeah....ok gonna ciao. nth to talk about alr.

LiesandSins__
9:21 pm

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

haha...felt strange today.....had a rollercoaster ride of emotions today....was quite pissed during pe....yeah....then after school got more pissed.....felt tired and stressed...wanted to *****. but luckily i didnt...haha...i have detention at 5 but i have to go for higher malay as it's the last lesson and also because i have not studied for the ss mock test....so if i go for higher malay i will not have to take the test today....but the thing is higher malay ends at 4.30 and i had no mood to go back to school from cck....plus my house is very near bukit panjang govt high. can just walk home. yeah so it's lame to go back to school just for detention. haha. it's like from bukit batok go cck then go back batok then cck again to go home....haha. yeah...haha....but i still went back school...dont know why....then it turns out no one was in school anymore , my friends i mean -_- happen to met james at bus stop, talked a while and then went home....haha. at home i felt strange....my mood got better....watched singapore idol....Jasmine sang SWEET child of mine...haha....strangely i didnt recognise the song at first....then suddenly it sounded familiar.....the lyrics and the guitar....haha. yup....i thought the guy was gonna play the solo.....then it was -___________- haha....oh nvm. jonathan's not bad also....haha...generally not much comments for singapore idol except the fact that i dont like joakim....haha.....he can't sing. haha...sorry to all his fans out there. it's a singing competition...dont keep him in because of his looks....Rahimah could have stayed and performed tonight....what a waste. haha...just saying....i'm not affected by Singapore idol anyway....o lvls coming babe....wtf...prelims...mock exams...die man....haha.....gotta pick myself up alr....gonna commit myself to some serious studying but i dont know when...hahaha......k maybe now then. bye. haha.

LiesandSins__
9:53 pm

Thursday, August 10, 2006

today damn slack...went denzel's house...play x box and watch tv...then went ***** fest with him...haha...then went home...no mood to study...still quite high...haha...had a lot of sticks today....yeah...i know it's dissapointing to some ppl...sorry yeah. haha. erm k...i read my horoscope again today....aiyah....nth to do with computer nowadays....the ppl whom i want to chat with sometimes are not online or simply too busy....yeah...anyway, here's my horoscope...haha.

The Bottom Line
Step back and let someone else take over -- let them call the shots as they see it.
In Detail
This back-and-forth between you and another person shows no sign of slowing down ... it's becoming part of the relationship dynamic. So today, if you need a break from this showdown, take it. Step back and let them take over -- let them call the shots as they see it. Chances are, without you there to balance their energy and ideas, they won't have very much fun. Being in the background will get your point across far more effectively than confrontation can.

haha. k, i think i know what it means....i'm just gonna let "them" decide what they want to do. dont ask me about this entry. k...bye...tmr there's school...why dont they just make it a holiday...so lame to go school for one day only. haha...lazy sia. haha...k, gonna slack now.

LiesandSins__
9:31 pm

haha...ndp was not bad...nice fireworks. hmm...my horoscope today...quite true. after what happened this few days.

The Bottom Line
If you're not getting all the respect you think you deserve, ask for it today.
In Detail
If you're wondering why you're not getting all the respect you think you deserve, stop to ask yourself if you're you asking for it. Sometimes you have to make a big noise about your accomplishments just so other people can notice -- and be able to make an even bigger noise. So today, climb up on a rooftop and shout out to the world about your latest accomplishment (or just send a tactfully worded email, whichever seems more practical). Start tooting your own horn!

yeah. k. that's it. update tmr i guess.

LiesandSins__
12:04 am

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

hmm... today ndp was quite okay. the performances were interesting. yeah. good effort lah by the ppl who performed. we played poker cards while watching the performances....then got ice-cream...i felt sick eating ice-cream...been eating ice-cream at home everyday. yeah then i also ***** a lot today...dont know why....just stressed at home and in school sometimes. yeah. now just using the computer at home.... very bored. yeah. hmm.. think i'm gonna sleep or sth. update again later. no mood.

In a darkened room
Lies the wounded, the shattered
remains of love betrayed.

Tell me when the kiss
of love
Becomes a lie
That bears the scar of sin
too deep
To hide behind, this fear
of running
Onto you
Please let there be light
In a darkened room.

emo huh? bleah. it's lyrics lah. wtf. haha.

LiesandSins__
3:05 pm

Monday, August 07, 2006

hmmm... just gonna type some random stuffs today. tmr is national day celebrations... hope it'll be fun. but i got a feeling it's gonna be boring. heh. esp after school. ppl are either going to just go home or play the teacher students game and i'll just sit there and watch. yeah fuck... but it doesnt mean i'm saying i want to play... just saying that it might be boring as usual. yeah and i hate it when i'm so bored. will do things to entertain myself which are things that might not be so healthy. like s******. yeah. but i dont just do it when i'm bored... when i've been feeling so stressed and had a long day, it's just there for me to "relieve" myself. of all my troubles, worries and tiredness. yeah and dont ask me what it is. those who know good for you. those who dont, too bad. haha... yeah and i've been thinking quite a bit these days also.... gonna sound emo but i realise i have a lot of bad points...i'm a waste of ppl's time and i'm also wasting my own time and besides that, i can be quite a burden...i need to buck up man....but lazy arh...i jsut want to slack....haha. fuck lah, what's wrong with me?

LiesandSins__
9:55 pm

Sunday, August 06, 2006

haha. today i looked at my horoscope again and this is what it says. i just find it weird.

The Bottom Line
Today you'll see how you have helped changed someone's life for the better.
In Detail
You may not have realized it, but you have gone a long way toward changing someone's life for the better. Your influence has taught them how to be more confident and proud of the life they've chosen for themselves. Today you'll finally understand the totality of your influence, but don't take this realization as an impetus to do more. Right now, your work is done. You've accomplished what is possible for this round. If they want you to step in with some advice, they will ask you.

haha. i dont remember helping to change someone's life for the better. haha. seriously. dont ask me why i'm looking at horoscopes. just bored. heh. now alone at home. parents gone out with my sis to westmall. i dont want to follow, no mood to go out with them. They've been quite unreasonable these days... keep asking me to teach sis and do housework, then after that ask me to study. fuck arh. cant even rest. and they always ask me do housework when i'm doing hw. then they say i inconsiderate. never help in the household. wtf. then i wake up at 10 o clock also kena scold. weekends what. stupid arh. haha. dont care them alr ah. now that they've gone out, it's quite peaceful. yeah. i dont know why they've been so unreasonable these days(not like they've ever been reasonable). haha. whatever it is i dont care. i just do the things they ask me to do and pretend to be happy about it. heh, no point arguing with them anyway. waste of my time.

LiesandSins__
1:19 pm

Saturday, August 05, 2006

ok so, 3 posts today. im just damn bored. cant touch my hp. fuck, feel so bored and empty. haha. ok just wanna post sth random. here's my horoscope today at friendster.

The Bottom Line
A friendship could grow into a bigger, much more important relationship today.
In Detail
An informal friendship could grow into a bigger, much more important relationship today; they could become a person who influences your life in either a romantic or a business sense. To make sure you know who you're dealing with, pay attention to the details around them. Ask the type of probing questions that will reveal what they really think of the current situation -- and how they might like it to change. Make sure you're the one pushing things forward, not them.

haha. i dont really quite understand what it is trying to say. haha...but anyway, it just got me thinking. is life alr being decided by fate? or is there still such things such as chance and destiny? haha. i think it's a bit of both. dont even know why i'm talking about this but i just wonder what my future will be like. hahaha. hope i'm not a failure. haha... but seeing the way things are going, i think i might be. hmm...i cant think about that right now, got other things to worry about like, NO HP! haha. can die of boredom. i use my hp not only to sms but also listen to music and play games and use internet and take quizzes. fuck arh, now damn boring. haha. i think i'll find a way of entertaining myself. wth. haha.

LiesandSins__
11:03 pm

i realised some things about my dad, not trying to be mean but i just realised how dumb he is. my dad said that smsing other ppl using starhub or singtel costs more and he keeps denying when i told him it's 5 cents no matter what. then i told him to use the calculator and count. then he was paiseyh. 1-0 to me. then he said that if ppl sms me, i will have to pay 5 cents. that means he's saying that for evey incoming sms must pay 5 cents. where got such thing one as incoming sms. wtf, dumb sia he. then i ask my brother. my dad paiseyh again. 2-0. then he said i keep using bluetooth, said it's very expensive. wtf. it's free lorh. i asked my bro again. my dad paiseyh again. 3-0. then he said that i nvr learn my mistake, said i keep denying whatever he said bla bla bla. please lorh, paiseyh alr then say i keep denying and say i nvr learn my mistake. it's the truth what. then he only believes my brother. wtf. haha. dont care him arh, stupid fuck. there's still more moments of paiseyhness from my dad but i cant recall now. hahaha. i shall repost again if i do rmbr. ok, gotta eat lunch. hungry.

LiesandSins__
2:23 pm

my handphone got confiscated, by my mom. wheeee. haha. suck arh, my bills high then confiscate. then they tell me to study, force me i mean. now i will be watched when studying. how lame is that. i'm not a child lah. fuck arh. oh well, o lvls coming anyway. no mood to blog. continue tmr.

LiesandSins__
12:01 am

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

had maths till 7 today. i'm tired. i'm just so sick of it sometimes.

anyway, here's sth we learnt in literature.

Love can easily be corrupted by a false appreciation for the experience, especially as that corruption manifests itself in sentimentality and posing, a tendency not to confront the experience directly and honestly but to wrap oneself up in the conventional language of love and to adopt the conventional poses of the distraught lover. There are many dangers of falling in love or with the conventions of love rather than looking directly at or listening clearly to the object of one's love. Such tendencies are dangerous because they cloud people's perceptions and their feelings making them unintelligently sentimental and therefore dishonest to themselves and others.

hmm...so what they are saying here is that love is a complicated matter...it's not just a feeling or emotion...it's more of a need for every human beings. eveyone wants to feel love or be loved in one way or another as it's a nice feeling to have. therefore human beings are always often being disillusioned when it comes to love. Being disillusioned here means being trapped and engulfed in their own emotional feelings and stuffs. Being trapped in their own internal sufferings. Human beings are sensitive when it comes to topics like love and we often get drifted away from reality. Love is such a wonderful feeling to have or delve with that sometimes we think we are in love with a person when all we are is actually is just being in love or loving the idea of love. Sometimes we get too carried away with love that we often think that we suffer from it and become the so called "distraught" lover. But in actual fact, we are just loving the idea of being and love and we are just loving the feeling it gives to us, the pain, the agony, and the joy. That's just how complicated love is.

LiesandSins__
8:15 pm